The Altruistic Nurturer--the Home Maker
People who are doing well in life are generally measured by the following criteria ie independent, successful at work, educated, professional, and self-sufficient. These are the standards whereby we measure "success" and people with these characteristics are what we regard as "intelligent" as opposed to "uneducated."
However, careful analysis reveals that the woman of the house fulfills the following roles :
- She has to be a wife to her husband.
- She has to be a mother to her children.
- She is a daughter to her father, who is earliest to reach out if something happens to her father.
- She is a teacher, teaching her children between right and wrong.
- She is a tutor, assisting with homework.
- She is a psychologist, using her intellect in daily struggles with husband and children.
- She is a counselor, counseling the children when a bully hits them.
- She is an accountant, budgeting the household expenses.
- She is a chef, preparing the meals.
- She is a tailor, restoring clothes.
- She is a driver, ferrying the kids to and from school.
- She is a buyer and store clerk, ensuring that all basic necessities are in the house.
- She is a switchboard operator, answering the phone.
- She is a receptionist, answering the door and receiving guests and visitors.
- She is a waitress, feeding everyone at mealtime before she feeds herself.
- And most important if the family is faced by some financial calamity, she too is the one who goes out to earn some money to make ends meet and still also does all the above.
Considering the above multi-faceted roles of women as wives & mothers & sisters in society, it really surprises me when a woman is asked what job she has, and her archetypal reply is "Oh, I don't work. I just sit at home. I'm a housewife."
Housewife indeed! This "housewife" is actually the CEO, the general manager of the house. She ensures that everything runs efficiently & on time. She is one person who does things selflessly placing her family members needs before hers all the time.
She is infact the Home Maker.
On the few occasions when things do not go as expected, she is liable to be blamed by accusing that she didn’t take care of their house, she could not keep the family together, she’s being irresponsible etc etc.
But how often have we informed these same altruistic women about the times when things do go well?
How often do we give compliments?
Do we counsel gently and encourage wisely?
or do we take it for granted and assume that "there is no point talking to her ? after all she is just a woman and expected to do everything."