Tuesday, February 28, 2006


From my side, this is my contribution to the Blank Noise Project Blog-a-thon 2006.

When I was a young girl say 12 or 13 yrs old, I remember the first few disgusting comments and stares that were thrown at me, and I was taken aback. In simple words I was sad very sad. The stares and comments just increased and I got sadder. I shared with my friends who were experiencing the same and we went and complained to our teacher. She did give us a few pointers and guidelines how to combat it but nothing worked. And I realized that eve teasing is something I just have to deal with on a daily basis helplessly many a times by myself. Pathetic!! Suddenly I had to think a hundred times before what I wore and I would spend hours in deciding something that would attract the least vulgar comments. Because by default I would expect some.

Once someone gave me the dumbest advise that these lechers are helping me become stronger and hence I should instead be thankful to them. NO...I refuse.

Some of my friends who were very senior to me in school use to say to me: "Why are you so sensitive? You are so childish, be brave, and be strong! How will you survive in the real world with this attitude?” Yes, once upon a time, I was naive enough to be sensitive and feel miserable. They always tried to encourage me to take a stand and face it. I thank them for it, as that was a turning point.

Ttill date they are every where...buses, autos, bus stands, trains all over...they stare endlessly.

When I travel by train I love to stand by the entrance when the train is moving. I like to enjoy the moment with the wind blowing.... but there comes another train on the other side and guys waving at me as if they have known me since ages...How I wish they would fall down in their excitement but that has yet not happened. One time while standing at the entrance another girl was with me , I expressed my wild wish to her and she suggested that if we wave back at these eve teasing guys they might get an unexpected unanticipated shock and actually fall off the moving train!!!

It takes alot of courage to stand against these perpetrators all alone but its not impossible, we have to deal with the situation at the spot itself.

I would like to see a day when a woman walks down a road she should not be treated like an object but be respected like an individual, a human being.

I also have taken eve teasing silently on several occasions, outwardly silent, but every inch of my insides screaming out louder than I could ever scream . And sometimes I give back harshly and stridently to attract attention of the passerbys. Must say most of these eve teasers when confronted are nothing but the biggest cowards who run away to save their faceless faces.

Dont be silient, fight back.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Scot free

Jessica's real culprits :
This was one case that was so crystal clear when it hit the news years back and for once I felt that ya ..a politicians son will be behind bars. Rich politicians son involved in a murder, in a big city, in a crowded elite social club where everyone knew each other, and numerous eyewitnesses were there to testify. A politician’s son with powerful backing, loads of money and what’s the judgment years later?? He and his hands in glove pals get acquitted because of lack of evidence. But weren’t there numerous eyewitnesses?? There were, but they all turned hostile and that’s the most devastating part of the proceedings.

Did money buy their silence thus making them hostile, or was it the fear of the rich and powerful who were out on bail?
While the rich and famous are out on bail immediately and then work on to eliminate any evidence against them so that they get off scot-free with no harm done

A women gets killed by a maniac man only because she refuses to serve him a drink???

This women’s story at least made news because she was a famous socialite and model Jessica Lal. What about those ordinary people who are victims of domestic violence and abuse at its worst?

But perhaps the most pathetic aspect of the case is the failure of society as a whole that did not come forward to testify or rise to the occasion to stand as one to fight against the criminals. And the tragic irony of all is that the witnesses were no ordinary people, they too were famous and friends of the victim. And they were her real culprits who let her down!!

I have to mention that the law enforcement system has been incapacitated to such an extent where anybody with deep pockets and right connections can get away with crime of any kind.
My heart goes out to her sister and family members at this time. May they have strength to face this situation.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Pleasant moments

Every time I have visited bandstand especially during the weekends I am put off whenever I come across a hawaldar with his stick going 'tak, tak , tak...'. I can’t help but also notice the sarcastic smirk on the faces of the passersby who are jogging, taking walks etc.
Then I also come across and its a common sight to see many young college going couples holding hands and enjoying each others company as they are lost in their own world...blissfully blissfully blissfully.
Its fun to observe them, exchanging looks, the way they walk, they are so engrossed amongst themselves that we passersby actually have to make way for ourselves.... but we don’t mind at all.

What bothers me is that when I hear that 'tak, tak , tak...' and there comes this hawaldar who disturbs them from their dream world , pulls them up and asks them to walk straight- decently.
Cant these young naive teens even enjoy some of their lives pleasant moments before they enter adulthood where they have to face the burden of responsibilities and when thinking of visiting these promenades will require prior scheduling and enjoying these walks holding hands will be a thing of the past!!

Monday, February 20, 2006

What is the secret to getting them right?

Relationships are one of the most difficult areas of our life. We spend most of our times analyzing them, thinking about them, working on them and fixing them. The closer the ties the harder are the challenges and more the expectation. Though giving is more apt as true love is unconditional. A good deal of our happiness and our sorrow arises from these relationships. The people nearest to us such as our parents , siblings, spouse, close friends, cousins, children and relatives are usually the source of our deepest anxieties, fears, insecurities or unhappiness , as indeed they are of joy, love, support, affirmation, comfort, solace and guidance.
If relationships are so central to our existence as human beings, if we spend so much time on them and in them, if they can, in fact, make or break us, then what is the secret to getting them right? If only we knew this, we might not only prevent much sorrow but also actually create a good deal of happiness. And we may finally find a way of being at peace with ourselves and with others and then this will hold true 'and they lived happily ever after....'


Sunday, February 19, 2006

Love and Pain are as light and shadow

Without pain love is not possible. Whose pain? Your pain. If you seek to love – bear pain first. If you seek to love infinitely – bear infinite pain. Because love is nothing but the other name of pain, it's not two things. To me pain is love, love is pain.

Human life cannot exist without problems. Indeed, one definition of life is that it is that which creates problems, which we have then to solve. My Guruji says "that problems are necessary to help us become stronger and stronger, and to grow". Life is nothing but the process of growing from what we are to what we have to become. In other words, it is a process of becoming. Enjoyment and Suffering or Love and Pain are as light and shadow, and go together, alternating one with the other.

We have to grow, to evolve, and this process of evolution is what we have to attend to, and take pleasure and pain as they come, and not look for them.

Everyone born in the human world has to suffer pain, misery, separation(oh God thats killing), grief—these are all parts of life, and this is what is not understood, and the lack of this basic understanding is what causes hurt! As the concept of day includes within itself night also, and one could not exist without the other, similarly life would not be life without all the pain.
And what of the lessons that pain and suffering teach us? Are they not necessary?

So you cannot have love without pain, you cannot have pain without love. And if you just go into this whole business of pain and suffering, you'll find at the base there is always love. Everything that we do, everything that we suffer in our life must be the training to bear it more and more.

Best of Luck.


Thursday, February 16, 2006

Love is a quality of the heart

Love is a quality of the heart! The miracle - that it brings about the transformation in the heart, changes it to what it should always have been—the embodiment of love! Very selfless! Just as the lamp shines without expecting any return for it, similarly, such a pure heart loves—and goes on loving, no matter what happens—because that is its nature, and it has no idea of any return. A person loves to the capacity of his/her heart. When the transformation is complete, the love is pure, ideal, and totally and absolutely self-less!

Love. Love so well, love so much, love so absolutely that your heart becomes capable and deserving of receiving And that is the real beauty of existence.